After the gym today, in a scurry of my mess, words, thoughts.. I finally managed to get inside, take off my sweaty clothes, and sit myself down in front of the computer to just wander around. Checking all things in order, like I usually do when I get online.. within my email, there was only one unread message. It was my father.
My appa decided to write me a letter...online. My 67 year old dad took his time to sign on AOL, open a new message and write to me. His broken english is very noticeable within the broken sentences he managed to type. And there I sat in silence, in a empty house, and cried.
In that small amount of time I quickly read through he's paragraph, I was placed back into reality where whatever I buy, how much time I spend working, who I meet, how many lyrics I can remember doesn't fucking matter. I stepped back, looked at the big picture of my life again and realized.. I'm only at a chapter in my life. I've got a whole book to finish and all I'm doing is wasting, wasting, wasting time.
The whole reason of me leaving Pensacola is to be someone different than the friends and people I knew. The whole reason I left my family, abandoned my friends, quit school was forgotten. I forgot who I once was and my headstrong ways to meet all my goals.
If my mother was still here, she would be disappointed in me.
Time to shutdown my whiny ways and make my life happen, now.
Where do you live, love is a place.
