As I'm not even an hour into my work day, I'm sitting at my desk, rushing to finish this jean-spike project for the photo shoot that day.

My all-time favorite co-worker comes in. Then he and I speak of our weekends, lightly having conversation while we are both working on our separate projects. A good amount of silence occurs.
I know this feeling, that question in mind that he wants to ask me, the reason he started our conversation so basic and easy. We allow the music I'm blasting on my Spotify have it's turn to fill that awkward pause when I know he's just waiting for the right time to ask. Then just as I suspect, he blurts out, "So... did everything turn out the way you wanted it.. with..?" I glance over, give a quick smile of being completely certain on what he's thinking of. Then say, "Well, of course not Eddie. This is my life. Everything happens to me in the same way. You act like a human then get treated like a dog. You try but you're still never good enough."

Eddie stops what he's doing, walks closer to me, and with a huge smile on his face says, "Okay? So fucking what? You're just gonna stop now because of this tiny thing in the way?" I just look up at him once and sit quietly for a moment then respond, "Well. Yeah. I've just decided to give up for a little. No harm in continuing with being disappointed anymore. I'll just not be, anything, and focus on more work." He looks away and just laughs.

Another frame of time passes by where we don't speak, we are obviously reflecting our opinions and each others in this moment. Then abruptly he starts again, "Well, YOU just need to snap out of it. Continue going.. I mean, why stop now?" I just smirk and start shaking my head in disagreement, "Nah, I'm over it all. I'm over everything. I'm tired of putting my hope into people. I'm tired of being disappointed. I'm tired of being let down knowing it wasn't gonna work out."

He starts to almost yell at me, "Disappointed? You're tired of it? Dude, let me fill you in on something. That's life man. You spend your entire life building your hopes up for something positive and right and good and all you do is be disappointed. Right? That's fucking life man. IT'S ONE HUUUGGGEE DISAPPOINTMENT. SO SNAP OUT OF IT."

I end up just giggling loudly while he finishes his last breath because he's totally and completely right. Without any hesitation, he continues with the most important thing I've ever heard, "..but here's another piece of information, while our entire life we are aware of how much life is a disappointment to us, somewhere, between being disappointed and disappointed, that small in-between grain of life that happens, you are happy. And so, in the end of it all, it's not about not trying anymore because you don't want to be let down. It's about finding the right person, at that moment, that you know you want to be happy with. So. It's all your choice man. You choose the right person in the right time because you know somewhere inside you, that small grain of life that happens, that small grain of happiness you spend with them, that is worth it all."

I sit in my chair, staring into the beady little eyes of my friend. I am astonished, somewhat shocked, and just flat out surprised. Then a wave of complacent falls over me. All I could say back was, "and you're right...."

I turn my chair around, turn up the Aalyiah to Washed Out playlist I have set up for myself, and lose myself back into work again.