Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can't I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you are gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy's got my heart in a silver cage
Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

I walked into the room dripping in gold
Yeah dripping in gold
I walked into the room dripping in gold
Dripping in gold
A wave of heads did turn, or so I've been told
Or so I've been told
My heart broke when I saw you kept your gaze controlled
Oh I cannot solve

Let's just stop and think, before I lose face
Surely I can't fall, into a game of chase
Around his little finger, that boy has got me curled
I try to reach out, but he's in his own world
This boy's got my head tied in knots with all his games
I simply want him more because he looks the other way

It's true I crave you
Crave You

i mean honestly, it really doesn't matter what you say to me,
everything is hollow words, empty eyes, empty promises
i won't believe it but i can't stop my heart for falling for it

the days you're in my hands, my eyes always in a stare, my giggles loud
the nights you're in my arms, my lips are on your face, my cheeks on your head
these are the memories i wanna burn away, forget, bury away for ever

leave me alone please,
my heart feels too heavy
and i don't think i can carry on from now


playlist: coldplay, integrity, iron age, the xx's, mind eraser
movielist: terminator, the fighter, cinderella man, fifth element, the thing

please tell me

i feel sad and unattracted to myself,
mentality, physically
every time i actually feel something inside,
i open my mouth to speak and my voice is silent

i'm to such point in my life where i feel disgusted with all males,
but no matter how disgusted i am i'm still lost in my own mind..

i just wanna lay in a pile of pillows and day dream my life away
smell the ocean and hear the el tracks as i fall asleep
wake up to a sunlit room with a lingering scent of blown out birthday candles
the touch of someone's rough hands traveling my body,
reminding me with whispers that i am theirs and they are mine,
there is no one else in the world but us


day dreams, my mind is filled with clouds and flowers,
the untouchable, the unattainable, the unrealistic,
i am a true dreamer at heart, i'm no where to be found




“If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?” -RuPaul

playlist: fiest, metric, lfo, hostage calm, the xx's
movielist: taken, police academy, wanted, machete, casino

Being single for me?
It means the one person you want doesn't want you or you can't have them
and the rest of the opposite sex only wants one thing only.


Cool story Hansel.

playlist: the xx's, leeway, dead end path, turnstile, the smiths, karate
movielist: the last airbender, batman returns,

you're the underdog, you're just like me

Spending the weekend basically alone, how perfect was that?

Reading this 'Born To Expire' zine makes me siked on hardcore and interested in writing my own zine. I've thought of the title and the line up of people I'd like to interview already. Friends have half agreed on it, so we'll see what the turn out will be. Being a female in hardcore always has more cons than pros.. but to me, it makes me even more involved and makes me wanna sing a long even harder. Fuck all the nonsense. Fuck all the stereotypes.

Also, this interview with World Collapse in BTE #2 is the best interview I've read in a really long time. Good job SV.



playlist: Jay-Z/Coldplay -Viva La Hoya, World Collapse, Frank Sinatra, Seraphim, Drake
movielist: Just for Kicks, Children of Men, Spirit Away, Exit Thru the Gift Shop, Dream Girls, Purple Rain

(feel free to recommend me music/movies, I'm always open to anything)

“Holding anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ~ The Buddha

i pretty much hate everything and everyone right now
everything i love and everything i want to hold close to me
is slipping through my fingers
every lyric i hear, every song i hum
they remind me of something i once upon thought could be real
they remind me of someone that i realize now will never be who i want them to be
they remind me of a future i will never achieve, i will never have

inside me,
my heart feels heavy, lost, empty
i guess this is where i should always be

it's where i always end up anyways



playlist: underdog, jim jones, turnstile, gangstarr, bravery